


I Wanna Sex You Up

by vix_spes



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Bad Chat Up Lines, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Oblivious, Office Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 15:39:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1272010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_spes/pseuds/vix_spes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill Tanner is rather perturbed to discover that a double-0 agent is attempting to seduce him. With some of the worst chat-up lines he’s ever heard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Sex You Up

In hindsight, Tanner was rather ashamed by how long it took him to realise that Alec Trevelyan, double-06, had been flirting with him. It was a very surreal discovery to say the least. Tanner had grown used to the idea that the majority of MI6 only saw him as some sort of simpering yes man that the former M had hired after Villiers had transferred to MI5. If only they knew that M had hired him because he was the precise opposite of being a yes man, for being the complete opposite of Villiers. You didn’t become the MI6 Chief of Staff if you didn’t have a backbone; you would be walked all over otherwise. Besides, Tanner had served in the Army before he had transferred to MI6, had worked with Mallory in fact, and that had helped to smooth over the transition in leadership.  
  
Even so, whilst he was one of the executive heads of MI6, he had a tendency to disappear into the woodwork. Or at least that was how it felt but then in many ways that was very useful because as Chief of Staff, Bill Tanner had his finger on the pulse of MI6. He knew absolutely everything that went on unless it was the knowledge that Alec Trevelyan was flirting with him. Even more embarrassing was the fact that it had been Q who had pointed this out to him. Q! Q, the youngest ever MI6 executive, who was both utterly brilliant at his job and utterly hopeless at realising when a double-0 was flirting with him. Just like Tanner apparently. Bond had reached the point where he was bored of Q’s obliviousness and had kissed Q in the middle of Q-branch after he had been outfitted for a mission. Tanner appreciated that Q had told him before things had escalated that far. Not that Tanner entirely believed it, even if the information had obviously come from Bond himself.  
  
Alec Trevelyan was something of a mythical figure within MI6. Rumours and gossip about the man were rife and nobody could tell what was truth or not and those who knew the truth weren’t talking. Widely acknowledged, and quite correctly so, as James Bond’s partner-in-crime with the two of them raising merry hell whenever they were in the same city. Tanner could attest to that having had to bail them out of more than a few scrapes since he had accepted this job. However, Trevelyan’s appearances in London were few and far between. Unlike Bond, whose assignments took him all over the world and were generally short-term, 006 spent most of his time on long-term assignments in Eastern Europe or his native Russia. The previous M had had her reservations about him due to his personal history but had been unable to deny his usefulness. The current M, whilst acknowledging the usefulness of having an agent almost permanently in Russia, disliked the concept of having an agent on extended deep cover. As a result, 006 could be found back in London and MI6 headquarters in Vauxhall much more frequently.  
  
Back in London, Trevelyan did pretty much everything that was expected of him. Namely causing havoc wherever he went. He spent a lot of time in the training rooms and the gun range at Vauxhall and could quite frequently be found in Q-branch if Bond was around. In the early days, the Q-branch minions had been rather terrified of the double-0’s spending their downtime in branch. However, over time, they had become more used to the sight and were positively relaxed if the double-0’s in question were Bond and Trevelyan. The two agents were alternately loathed and loved; loathed for the condition they returned equipment in and loved because those two could charm anybody. It also helped that they were both, Trevelyan especially, positively eager to test any new explosives the branch had developed.  
  
To be perfectly frank, Tanner was of the opinion that Q deserved a medal for putting up with the two agents. Bond now lived with Q rather than in hotels, a rare show of domestication that had shocked everybody, and after getting kicked out of three hotels in as many days, so did Trevelyan. Trevelyan had also taken to loitering around the Executive’s Offices when he was back in Vauxhall, much like many others. That wasn’t entirely unheard of after Moneypenny had been demoted from field agent to being M’s assistant. Most field agents, double-0’s or not, had developed the habit of dallying on the way into and out of mission briefings in order to flirt with the lovely Miss Moneypenny. Only Tanner was privy to the knowledge that, as much as she adored him, Moneypenny resented Q because while she flirted with all of the agents, she had been holding out for Bond.  
  
Alec Trevelyan was the exception.  
  
Rather than lingering to flirt with Moneypenny as the rest of the agents did, Alec would instead perch himself on Tanner’s desk whenever the opportunity arose.  
  
Not that the opportunity arose too often. Unlike Eve, whose desk was out in the open area in front of M’s office, Tanner’s position offered him the privacy of his own office due to the sensitive nature of his work. Even though he had his own office, he didn’t actually spend that much time in it; he always seemed to be in meetings either with M or representing M. Still, Trevelyan appeared to find his way into Tanner’s office more than anybody else. Admittedly, that wasn’t hard when you took into consideration the fact that very few people would go to Tanner’s office voluntarily; the only truly regular visitors were Q, Moneypenny and M. Or at least that was the case until Alec Trevelyan returned to London.  
  
The first time that Trevelyan appeared in Tanner’s office, he had entered with the words ‘Hi, I’m Mr Right; I heard you were looking for me’. Tanner had been on his way to a meeting with Q and had assumed that he had misheard. Not really sure how to respond in case he had misheard, he had simply ushered the agent out telling him that medical wanted to see him for a full work-up.  
  
The more comments that were directed his way, the more confused Tanner became. The chat-up lines, because they couldn’t be anything else, always came out of nowhere and were so random that Bill was left wondering if he had imagined them. Instead, he had found himself giving fairly generic responses to Alec’s comments. There had been the time that Trevelyan had cornered him in a corridor not too far from HR with ‘I seem to have misplaced my number, can I have yours?’ only to be rebuffed by Tanner informing him that his work number was easily available to agents in the directory. Then there had been the time outside medical; ‘Do you have a plaster? I scraped my knee falling for you’. Stressed from 004’s AAR and the fact that the agent in question was in surgery, Tanner had snapped at Trevelyan.  
  
“Do I look like I have a plaster? We’re outside bloody medical. Ask them.”  
  
And it hadn’t stopped there.  
  
Tanner hadn’t really thought about it too much the first few times, not really paying attention to Trevelyan and assuming that he was just bored and trying to occupy himself. After all, this was 006 that they were talking about, and Tanner was just Tanner. Only that wasn’t happening; Trevelyan didn’t seem to be getting bored. He was regularly sent out on missions but without fail at briefings and debriefs he could be found perched on Tanner’s desk, as long as the door was open. Half the time, Tanner paid him no attention and just let the agent ramble on and the rest of the time just answered absentmindedly.  
  
Trevelyan had been confined to the UK for a minimum of three weeks as a result of injuries and pending psych evaluations when Q came to talk to Tanner. That in and of itself wasn’t unusual as they had formed a friendship during their dealings with Silva and would try and escape to each other’s offices when they could for conversation that wasn’t shop talk. What was unusual was the blunt way that Q broached the subject; Q was normally forthright with his thoughts and opinions but never normally quite this blunt.  
  
“Will you please just put Alec out of his misery and say yes so that you can shag or say no and then send him on a mission. I have had far too little sex recently to deal with a six foot Russian assassin with a penchant for explosives moping around my flat.”  
  
“Firstly, do not mention how much sex you are having again. I already know far too much about yours and Bond’s sex life than I want to. Secondly, what the hell are you talking about?”  
  
Q was openly smirking at Tanner’s reference to the time when he had walked in on Bond and Q availing themselves of the latter’s desk before Bond headed off on a mission. “Alec Trevelyan? You know, six foot odd blond Russian double-0? Has taken to hanging around your office flirting with you?”  
  
Now Q definitely had all of Tanner’s attention. “Flirting with me? Trevelyan? 006? You’re crazy.”  
  
“Bill, please tell me you’re joking. You really haven’t noticed anything? Alec’s about as subtle as a brick.”  
  
“Do I have to remind you that it took Bond kissing you in the middle of Q-branch for you to realise that he had been flirting with you?”  
  
“Yes, yes we’re both idiots.” Q flapped a hand in Tanner’s direction. “The point is that I have a pining Russian in my flat who is driving me insane. Please do something about it.”  
  
Tanner still wasn’t convinced. “Are you positive that he’s flirting?”  
  
“Bill, I heard him say ‘If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘I’ and ‘U’ together’; it couldn’t be anything else. Just, promise me that you’ll pay more attention and put Alec out of his misery, one way or another.”  
  
Tanner barely noticed as Q left the room taking his tea with him, his mind still stuck on the revelation that 006 wanted him.  
  
Q’s words played on Tanner’s mind for the next couple of days, a couple of blessed Trevelyan-free days. He did wonder if Q had had a word with the agent; he certainly wouldn’t put it past the man. Whether or not Q had been involved, Tanner appreciated it as he had desperately needed the time in order to mull over Q’s words. Tanner had always been work-orientated, both in the military and before he had accepted the transfer to MI6. That wasn’t to say that he had never been in a relationship; he had dated both men and women during his time at school and university followed by several very discreet flings whilst at Sandhurst and in the army. Having a social life hadn’t been an option once he had accepted the post of Chief of Staff. Now he was being offered a relationship on a plate.  
  
Well, maybe he was and maybe he wasn’t. That was the thing; he didn’t know what Trevelyan wanted, what he was offering. If he was actually offering anything. Q had said that he was flirting but maybe flirting was all he wanted. Although, the more that he thought about it, the more attractive the prospect was. There was no denying that Alec Trevelyan was an attractive man, although he was more rugged than classically handsome. Yes, he was an attractive man with rather destructive tendencies and killed people for a living, but it wasn’t as though Tanner didn’t know all of that already. After all, they did all work for MI6. People who had destructive tendencies and people who killed for a living were the norm, or at least made up a high percentage. Admittedly not all of them were as attractive as Trevelyan or Bond.  
  
He couldn’t deny that the prospect of Trevelyan being interested in him, even if it was only for sex and most likely just a one-night stand, was becoming more and more appealing by the minute. Regardless of how appealing it was, that didn’t mean that Tanner was going to make the first move; that would be an abuse of his position. Or at least it would be if MI6 paid a lot of attention to employees in relationships, even if one of said employees were an Executive and thus higher rank than the other. Still, sticking to the rules was engrained in Tanner – he didn’t count his and Q’s actions when they were trying to lure Silva up to Skyfall - and he had no intention of changing the habits of a lifetime, even if it were for a potential shag with Alec Trevelyan. Deciding to take his cue from Trevelyan when he returned, if he returned, Tanner turned back to his work, satisfied with his choice.

  
(~*~)

  
It was two days later when Trevelyan returned, perching on the edge of Tanner’s desk as though he hadn’t been away for four days. A check of his emails had revealed one from Q informing him that Trevelyan had been temporarily seconded outside London to aid Q-branch with some testing. Knowing that he was due back and wanting to test Q’s information, Tanner had left the door open intrigued to see what Trevelyan would do. He wasn’t disappointed. Alec sauntered in with a devilish grin on his face, impeccably dressed much as Bond always was in smart trousers and shirt but somehow seeming more casual than Bond ever did. Only he wasn’t saying anything, he was just stood there, just inside the door with his hip cocked against the door frame and with that damn grin on his face. It was making Tanner rather uncomfortable and he wasn’t entirely sure what to do. So, he did what he always did; fell back on unemotional efficiency.  
  
“Trevelyan, what can I do for you?” Tanner kept his attention focused on his work. He heard a click that had him wanting to look up but he resisted the urge.  
  
“Didn’t you miss me Tanner? I had hoped for a warmer welcome.”  
  
“Miss you? You’ve only been gone for four days Trevelyan and you’ve been testing for Q-branch, not risking life and limb in a war zone.”  
  
Tanner’s words were greeted with silence but, however much he wanted to look up, he resisted the urge. When Trevelyan finally spoke, he was much closer than the bloody door.  
  
“It's a good thing that I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.”  
  
Before Tanner could respond, there was a quick tap on the door before it swung open and Moneypenny was there, raising an eyebrow at Trevelyan’s presence. “Tanner, M needs you. Are you busy?”  
  
“Not at all, Trevelyan was just leaving.”  
  
Even as the words left his mouth, Bill couldn’t help but regret them. Unfortunately, as much as he was actually enjoying the horrendously bad chat-up lines, this was their place of work and he had a position of responsibility. As Moneypenny turned to move into M’s office, Bill turned to Trevelyan, wanting to soften his harsh words if he could. He got beaten to the punch, though.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. Work calls. I’ll see you later, Tanner.”  
  
It seemed that wherever he went that day, Bill couldn’t escape from Alec. He had gone down to Q-branch to hand some files over to Q and been greeted by the words ‘Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?’ Unfortunately, there had been an audience in the form of a sniggering 007 although he had been hit in the back of the head by the wad of files Q was holding. Bill hadn’t responded and had simply made as quick an exit as was dignified. Wanting to escape from his office (and thus avoid an encounter with an infuriatingly nosy Miss Moneypenny), he took his lunch break in the canteen and chose the most secluded spot that he could find. Not that could hide him from Alec Trevelyan.  
  
“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?”  
  
Trevelyan’s words had him cringing into his lunch. He hadn’t heard such bad lines since he was at secondary school and even then none of them had worked successfully. He had every intention of telling Trevelyan that and then leaving before anybody noticed what was going on.  
  
“Really Trevelyan? Blokes were using that line when I was in school and it didn’t work then. What makes you think it will work now?”  
  
Trevelyan wasn’t deterred though and sat down straddling a chair; Tanner felt that he should give him points for persistence. “Do you have any raisins? How about a date?”  
  
Oh God, they actually could get worse. The thing was, even though they were appallingly bad, it was quite amusing the lengths that Alec was going to. Still, he was probably better off in his office. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Goodbye, Trevelyan.”  
  
By the time that Bill was getting ready for his last meeting of the day – a weekly meeting with the Chief of Medical – there had been no further reappearances from Trevelyan and Tanner was slightly perturbed to find himself disappointed by that. He had wondered if, given his constant rebuttals, Alec would give up eventually or if he would carry on. It would appear that Bill rebuffing him at lunch had been the last straw. Checking his watch, he saw that he had time to make one more phone call before his meeting and reached for the phone. To be perfectly frank, he was just ready for this day to be over and the last thing that he wanted was a phone call with his counterpart at MI5 followed by a meeting with the Chief of Medical who was inevitably going to complain about the double-0 agents’  incapability to follow medical orders. Oh well, he supposed that the sooner he got this phone call over with, the sooner he could be finished with the meeting and then maybe, just maybe, he might be home before eleven pm for once.  
  
The phone had been set back in its cradle for barely five seconds when the door to his office slammed open, the noise making him jump in his seat. Even as he looked up, he knew that it was going to be Trevelyan in the doorway. It would appear that the man had skin as thick as an elephant if he was still stood here and smiling. Bill was also a little disconcerted by just how pleased he was to see that Trevelyan had come back. And then, of course, the man had to open his mouth.  
  
“You’re looking a bit peaky, Tanner; I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.”  
  
Bill couldn’t believe what he had just heard. This was one of the best agents that the British Secret Service had? “Trevelyan, are you drunk?”  
  
The agent in question gave a shit-eating grin and responded with what was probably one of the worst lines Tanner had heard all day (there had been a lot of them and none of them were good). “I’m not drunk, I’m intoxicated by you.”  
  
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” the swearing made Trevelyan’s eyes widen fractionally which made Tanner a little bit smug. “Do I look like a woman, Trevelyan? No, I don’t. So why do you persist in using these bloody awful lines? Do you seriously think that they will work? If you use those on missions then I am genuinely amazed at your mission success rate. If you want something just get on with it and just bloody ask me.”  
  
“The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word?”  
  
“Did you not listen to a word that I just said, Trevelyan? If you want something then just ask me, using actual words and not ridiculously bad chat-up lines.”  
  
Alec looked a little blindsided, as though he hadn’t actually expected to be called out on the bad chat-up lines that he had been spouting for what was probably months now. It only lasted a minute though and then Alec was squaring his shoulders, the cocky smirk back in place.  
  
“Dinner tonight?”  
  
And this was it, the moment that Bill had to make a decision. This was what Q had told him Alec wanted all along, what all those ridiculous chat-up lines had been about. So, what was his decision going to be?  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“I mean I know I’ve pissed you off with the chat-up lines but … yes?”  
  
Now Bill was really starting to worry that this was one of the best agents that they had. This was a man who represented Queen and Country, killing in the name of both, yet he couldn’t comprehend that Bill had just said yes to dinner.  
  
“Yes, Trevelyan, I said yes to dinner. When were you thinking?”  
  
Trevelyan was still looking befuddled and, of course he still looked attractive, damn the man. He even managed to fumble over a response. And it was such a nice feeling to know that, even though he had a reputation as mild-mannered Bill Tanner, Chief of Staff, he could still wrong-foot a double-0.  
  
“Tonight?”  
  
“Tonight is fine. I’ll be finished with my meeting in an hour.”  
  
Trevelyan nodded and said that he would be back in an hour before disappearing out of the door, muttering about visiting the gun range. Even though he needed to be getting out of his office, Bill gave himself a couple of minutes to try and let the fact that he was having dinner with Alec Trevelyan tonight sink in. Then another thought sank in; Q was never going to let him live this down.

  
(~*~)

  
Two months later, Bill found himself finally admitting to himself (and a rather gleeful Q) that he was actually in a relationship with Alec Trevelyan. It wasn’t at all what he had been expecting. Double-0 agents normally didn’t bother with relationships. There were a few exceptions but they were the ones who had been in established relationships before they got their licence to kill. Most of them simply went for one-night stands as and when the urge took them. It had been a surprise to all when 007 had taken himself off the market and now it would appear that 006 had done the same thing.  
  
Despite everything that Q had said, Bill had still been of the opinion that, as soon as he had slept with Alec, that would be it. Alec would have slaked his lust and his interest would wane before he went back to his old ways. So Bill had been more than a little surprised to find that Alec hadn’t walked away when Bill hadn’t simply fallen into his bed after that first dinner. Then again, maybe that was exactly why Alec hadn’t lost interest; he was so used to not having to work for it and people simply falling into his bed that having to work for it was a novelty.  
  
A novelty that wasn’t wearing off. Even once they had started sleeping together on a regular basis, the dinners out (dare he call them dates?) didn’t stop but continued, cementing the fact that Trevelyan wasn’t just interested in him for the sex. Even if it was bloody fantastic sex. It didn’t take long for Alec to start breaking into Bill’s house after their first night together – he had obviously spoken to Bond because how else would he get past the security measures that Q himself had installed? Eventually, sick of coming home to find Alec there – because inevitably Alec would go in through a window rather than the door – Bill had had a key cut and left it in Alec's locker. They never spoke about the fact that Alec had practically moved in, not explicitly, but it didn't take them long to reach a point where Alec didn't bother going anywhere else. They had both been surprised by how comfortable they were by this sudden shift from confirmed bachelors to domesticity and if Bill had seen M and Moneypenny handing fairly sizeable wads of cash to a smug looking Q, he wasn't going to say anything. Quite frankly, it was rather disturbing that his colleagues were betting on his private life. Although he wasn't going to complain about the bottle of his favourite whisky that appeared in his office from Bond or the fact that one of Q's underlings fixed the coffee machine in his office to produce better coffee than before.  
  
Not that anybody knew about their relationship – dare he actually give it that label? – outside of their closest friends and colleagues. And that was the way Bill liked it. He didn’t like being the centre of attention, didn’t like people knowing anything about his private business. He wasn’t like Q who had no qualms about occasionally calling Bond affectionate pet-names over the comms, not to mention the fact that the two of them seemed bound and determined to have sex in as many places within MI6 as they possibly could. Q’s underlings currently had a pool going on when the two of them would finally manage to have sex in M’s office; a pool in which Alec was heavily invested considering how much money he had bet. Then again, having sex inside the Vauxhall building, in places where they could easily be caught by other employees, seemed to be a double-0 thing. Or at least it was a Bond and Trevelyan thing as Alec was constantly trying to entice him while they were at work.  
  
It wasn’t working. Oh, Bill was more than happy to exchange occasional kisses in the privacy of his own office or, on one particularly memorable occasion, the gun range after hours. Alec was constantly testing the boundaries though, seeing what he could get away with. Not that he ever got that far. Bill had absolutely no intention of giving in though, regardless of how tempting it (and Alec) was. Not that that was going to stop Alec from trying and Bill expected nothing less.

  
~*~

  
The second that the door to his office slammed open Tanner was immediately in action, one hand closing the file of sensitive information he had been reading and the other going for the panic button located underneath his desk. In all likelihood it wasn't anything to worry about - alarms would have gone off already if there were intruders in the building - but it was better to be safe than sorry. It wasn't an intruder, but it was somebody to potentially worry about; Alec. Apparently back from Argentina and his latest mission. Tanner had known that he was due back of course, courtesy of Q, but he hadn't expected Alec so soon. Particularly as he appeared to have come straight from the airport. Tempted as he was to roll his eyes at the unsurprising fact that Alec was breaking protocol, Bill couldn't help but smile slightly as he half-rose from his desk.  
  
"You do realise that you're supposed to see M for a debrief don't you? I assume you haven't been to medical or dropped your equipment off in Q-branch either have you?"  
  
"Why break the habit of a lifetime? M's apparently still in a meeting with those idiots from MoD and I did think that I might get a more receptive greeting from my lover. Especially as I got blown up."  
  
Tanner rolled his eyes but stepped around the desk as Alec stalked towards him. "You didn't get blown up. You got caught in the tail end of an explosion. Something that wouldn't have happened if you had listened to Q."  
  
Now it was Alec’s turn to roll his eyes. “Yes, yes, I’ve had the lecture from Q already. He wouldn’t shut up about me not listening to him, even when I said I’d brought his gun back.”  
  
Bill was rather taken aback by that statement, not entirely sure if he had heard it correctly. “You told Q that you’d brought back your gun back, your _palm-encoded Browning_ back, and he didn’t stop lecturing you?”  
  
When Alec nodded, Bill wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to read the report of said mission or see any footage. He jumped as one of Alec’s hands grazed along his arse.  
  
“Can we please stop talking about Q? You have me confused with another blond double-0 who _wants_ to talk about our darling Quartermaster all the time. I’m far more interested in _not_ talking.”  
  
Bill desperately wanted to remind Alec that they were in his office and that Bill didn’t approve of having sex in the workplace – because Alec had no intention of stopping at just a few kisses – but then Alec had nearly been caught in an explosion. And, to be perfectly honest, Bill didn’t really want to stop at a few kisses either. Even now, he could feel his body swaying involuntarily towards Alec. It was obvious from the small smile playing on his lips that Alec had noticed but, restraining himself for once, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he just leaned in and claimed Bill’s lips.  
  
From that first kiss, Bill knew that this wasn’t going to be slow and loving – something that he was sure people didn’t think Alec was capable of and something that had even surprised Bill – but then he wasn’t surprised. This was post-mission sex after all; an opportunity for Alec to work off the remaining adrenaline with very pleasurable results for Bill. He knew that his office was soundproofed (all of the executive offices were) but there was a difference between being soundproofed for meetings and soundproofed for sex. As most people who had visited Q-branch could verify.  
  
As Alec took control of the kiss, pushing for dominance, Bill surrendered quickly and took the more passive role, allowing himself to be swept along as Alec’s tongue pressed into his mouth. Normally there was far more equality in their sex life; neither man topped or bottomed exclusively and they liked it that way. Variety is the spice of life and all that bollocks. The only time that changed was after missions and they had learnt that the hard way. The first time they had slept together after a mission, Alec had pushed for dominance, Bill had pushed back and it had all ended disastrously. It was just easier, and ultimately more pleasurable, to submit and let Alec have his way. Besides, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud, there was something rather liberating about not being the one in control, given that as Chief of Staff he always had to be in control.  
  
And then Alec’s mouth was moving away from his, trailing down over his jaw line and down onto his neck, Bill’s head thudded back against the wall as his tie disappeared somewhere over Alec’s shoulder and Alec nipped at the tendon in Bill’s neck. Bill’s cock started to take an interest right about the minute that Alec started alternately nipping and sucking the point on his neck that they had quickly discovered was an erogenous zone, Bill’s hands digging into the muscle of Alec’s biceps. Then one of Alec’s hands was sneaking past the waistband of Bill’s trousers, middle finger just teasing, ghosting over his crack and that was it. Bill didn’t really give a damn about office soundproofing (something that he would probably regret later on). He pulled Alec’s mouth up to his, one hand tangled in short blond hair while the other fumbled at the placket of Alec’s trousers. Alec responded with a growl, his fingers practically tearing at the buttons of Bill’s shirt.  
  
“On the desk. Now.”  
  
Alec’s words were accompanied by him sweeping a significant portion of Bill’s desk clear of the paperwork covering it, the items crashing to the floor in a flurry of paper.  
  
“Alec! Do you have any idea of how long it will take me to reorder those files?”  
  
“Do you think I care?” Alec was more preoccupied with pulling Bill away from the wall and pressing him onto said desk. “Get one of your little minions to do it.”  
  
“I don’t have minions Alec, you’re mistaking me for Q!”  
  
“Can you seriously not talk about Q right now? Unless you want me to lose my erection?”  
  
Bill glanced down at said erection, clearly visible from the way that Alec had apparently decided to forgo underwear and his undone trousers were hanging off his hips. Not that he would say it out loud but no, he had no desire for Alec to lose his erection. His jacket and tie were God knows where and his shirt was already hanging open, so Bill started on the task of removing his trousers and underwear enough that sex was actually going to be possible and not some ridiculous position out of the Kama Sutra. Unfortunately, that meant that Bill ended up with his trousers and boxers hanging off one ankle while his bare arse squeaked rather embarrassingly on the surface of his desk. Thankfully, Alec was too busy producing a familiar packet out of his trouser pocket to comment. Although, come to think of it,  
  
“You have lube in your pocket? You’ve just got off a plane having completed a mission, why the hell is there lube in your pocket? When did you have time to get that?”  
  
Alec paused in the action of slicking his fingers with the small sachet of lube that he had produced from his trouser pocket along with a condom. “You’re really asking me that question? I’m a double-0, we’re always prepared.”  
  
“I think you’re getting confused with the Scouts, Alec, they’re the ones who are always prepared.” The last word ended on a gasp as Alec wasted no time in sliding the first of his lubricated fingers inside Bill. He didn’t hang around, inserting more fingers the instant that he thought Bill could take them.  
  
“Such a comedian aren’t you, Bill? Can you think of all the sarcastic little lines with my fingers buried inside you though? No? I didn’t think so.”  
  
Normally Bill enjoyed these little exchanges of words but not right now, not when anyone could walk in and see what they were doing. Reaching out and ripping open the condom packet, he rolled it onto Alec, revelling in the slight hiss of breath and the way that Alec’s fingers raked over his prostate before he fumbled for the sachet of lube. He coated his fingers with it and smoothed it over Alec's cock, his hand clenching slightly as Alec's teeth latched onto his neck in exactly the same place that he had been fixated open moments earlier. No doubt there would be a very visible mark there and all Bill could do was hope that his shirt would hide it. He guided Alec's cock to his loosened entrance, his breath hitching as Alec slid straight into him, leaving him feeling completely full. Of course, Alec being the contrary bastard that he was, then proceeded to stay as still as he possibly could.  
  
“Stop trying to be clever, Trevelyan and just fuck me.”  
  
“My pleasure _Sir._ ”  
  
Alec proceeded to do exactly what Bill had told him to do. He started thrusting into Bill hard and fast, angling his hips to ensure that the head of his cock raked across Bill’s prostate with every thrust. One of his hands was bracing him against the desk while the other was wrapped around Bill's calf, pushing his leg further up towards his chest so that Alec could get some traction and thrust that little bit deeper. Reading Alec’s mind, Bill wrapped the leg unencumbered by his trousers around Alec’s hip, canting his own hips up even further and leaving Alec with both hands free to brace himself against the desk. He dipped his head and captured Bill’s lips in a toe-curling kiss that was interrupted when Bill ripped his mouth away from Alec’s with a cry as Alec thrust particularly deep. Bill’s hands raked across Alec's still clothed back and shoulders, encouraging him to speed up his thrusts, something that Alec seemed happy to indulge him in.  
  
Before Alec could say anything, Bill reached between them to grab hold of his cock and started stroking himself awkwardly. It didn’t take much between the urgency of their encounter and the fact that they hadn’t had sex in several weeks for Bill to climax, spilling all over his hand and stomach. And on Alec’s shirt no doubt as well. The huffed words and moans in his ear showed how much Alec had suffered due to the enforced abstinence, expletives becoming more prominent as Bill clenched and contracted around him. And after barely another two thrusts, Alec was spilling himself inside his lover with a wordless growl.  
  
It was at that point that a voice broke the silence, causing both of them to whip their heads round to see who it was.  
  
“So, you’ve got better soundproofing than down in Q-branch.”  
  
Bill didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or relieved when a glance towards the door revealed Q stood in the doorway, two mugs in his hands. He settled for both; embarrassed that he had been caught in this position, but relief that the door had opened post-orgasm, that they had used a condom and that it was Q. At the very least, it was payback for the times that he had walked in on Bond and Q. What he didn’t understand was why the door was still wide open.  
  
“Q, get out and shut the bloody door for a minute.”  
  
The instant that the door swung shut, Bill was pushing at Alec, trying to get him to move. Bill was no slouch – he had been determined that accepting an office job didn’t mean that he lost all of his fitness or his weapons skills – but neither was he nearly six-foot of solid, well-honed muscle like Alec. He did wonder what Alec (and Bond if he didn’t already know) would think if they knew that their guns, as with all the small arms developed by Q-branch, were initially tested by Bill and Q. It was the work of moments to dispose of the condom and wipe themselves clean before readjusting clothing. To be honest, neither of them had really bothered removing much, too impatient to wait. Alec strode over to the door to let Q in, returning to stand close by the desk as Bill tried to set his desk to rights and not make it look like they had been having sex in his office in the middle of the day.  
  
“Alec, James is down on the gun range. I’ve modified those weapons you brought back from Archangelsk and they’re ready for testing.”  
  
An anticipatory grin appeared on Alec’s face and he left after giving Bill another nip to the fairly impressive bruise appearing on his neck followed by a possessive kiss. Bill couldn’t help but blush as he adjusted his collar to hide the bite before putting his tie on and grabbing his jacket. As he reached Q, the younger man handed him a mug of coffee, a small smirk playing on his lips.  
  
“Post-mission sex. One of the best things about dating a double-0. Come on, let’s go and see what those idiots from the MoD have to say. Although this does mean that James owes me; I said that you would end up having sex with Alec in your office.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you would prefer to comment on LJ, you can do so [here](http://vix-spes.livejournal.com/157853.html)


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